Whose Voice?
I have spent a lot of time thinking about my role as a straight woman who will be posting regularly on the Ugly Ducklings blog, a blog dedicated to ending the bullying and harassment of LGBTQ youth. For several weeks, I felt like an impostor. “Who am I to be writing about LGBTQ issues?” I thought.
Whose Silence?
My perspective fundamentally changed, however, when I came across a prayer last week which asks forgiveness for all the times, “We knew that others were being mistreated and yet we did nothing.” My thoughts leaped immediately to a conversation I had with a friend in 10th grade chorus. We were sitting next to each other trying to guess who the other person had a crush on, and I remember clearly the moment her answers eliminated all the boys in the room. I also remember the moment I chose not to acknowledge that she was attracted to a girl. Instead of asking excitedly, “Do you like Kelly?” I feigned confusion. I pretended that I could not figure out who she was talking about. Now with great sorrow I ask myself, what was I so afraid of? Several of the women I grew up loving and being nurtured by were lesbians, and yet when presented with the opportunity to be an active ally to a peer of my own, I did not have the courage to break out of the dominant mold of heteronormativity.
Whose Problem?
I often point out that men’s violence against women is almost always referred to as a women’s problem, but it is, in fact, a men’s problem. It is the batterers who have the problem. They are the ones whose actions are harming others. In the same way, homophobic bullying and harassment is not a homosexual problem. It is a heterosexual problem. By choosing to be silent in high school I supported homophobia, just as a man supports domestic violence when he witnesses abuse and turns his head away. It is the responsibility of every individual, not only to eliminate her own homophobic thoughts and behaviors, but also to actively challenge all homophobia that is witnessed.
I cannot go back and speak out, but I can refuse to go forward in silence.
Want to know more about being an Ally?
Check out the LGBTQ Center at UNC Chapel Hill’s website
Looking for support?
The Ugly Ducklings Community Action Kit contains activities, discussion questions, movie clips, and resources for creating safer, harassment-free schools and communities!
The Gay Lesbian Straight Education Network has a wealth of information, resources, and project ideas to help your school be a safe place for LGBTQ youth.
Showing posts with label LGBTQ youth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label LGBTQ youth. Show all posts
Friday, September 28, 2007
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Recent Reviews
On viewing the Ugly Ducklings documentary at NEWfest in NYC, Robin Lichtig said,
"Okay - this was exciting. I just got back from a New York City screening of UGLY DUCKLINGS, based on and woven around lister Carolyn Gage's play of the same name. Big AMC-Lowe's movie house on Broadway. Darned big audience for a Friday afternoon. Met the director, a producer, others involved with the film. Lively Q and A followed.
"The film (and play) concerns the dreadful, daily pressures that LGBTQ (Q for "questioning") teens and young women are subjected to. It is an important film. Info, study resources and a CD are available from www.UglyDucklings.org or info@uglyducklings.org. Check it out if you know someone in a school, church, or other organization that would be interested in helping their young people cope with discrimination, identity, homophobia, harassment. I picked up information to send to a pastor of a church in Vermont. The more widely this film is distributed, the more
chance there is of helping these children who all too often are driven to extremes, including suicide. Cheers, Carolyn! You're making a difference."
From Diane Elze, Ph.D., an Associate Professor in the School of Social Work, University at Buffalo. Diane is also founder of OUTRIGHT in Portland, Maine and former board member of the Maine Lesbian/Gay Political Alliance (now, Equality Maine).
"This documentary is right now the best film on the planet that confronts us with the painful intrapersonal and interpersonal effects on all young people of the pervasive sexual prejudice that we teach them, and the resultant harassment and bullying, and it does so with power and sensitivity.
"These young women inspire us to join with them as change agents to actively engage with youth and adults to create safe and respectful environments in which everyone can thrive. The young participants are truly role models in showing us how to carry on meaningful, authentic conversations about sexual orientation and gender identity diversity. Most importantly, they show us how to take action despite our nervousness, uncertainty or fear.
"Hardy Girls Healthy Women has provided us with a brilliant film and an information-rich, user-friendly action kit that we can employ with youth in very diverse settings – schools, youth groups, faith communities, shelters, and other residential programs. Who could ask for more? We just need to take the risk to engage with young people around this material. And the young women in the film bravely and proudly show us how to do that, too!"
"Okay - this was exciting. I just got back from a New York City screening of UGLY DUCKLINGS, based on and woven around lister Carolyn Gage's play of the same name. Big AMC-Lowe's movie house on Broadway. Darned big audience for a Friday afternoon. Met the director, a producer, others involved with the film. Lively Q and A followed.
"The film (and play) concerns the dreadful, daily pressures that LGBTQ (Q for "questioning") teens and young women are subjected to. It is an important film. Info, study resources and a CD are available from www.UglyDucklings.org or info@uglyducklings.org. Check it out if you know someone in a school, church, or other organization that would be interested in helping their young people cope with discrimination, identity, homophobia, harassment. I picked up information to send to a pastor of a church in Vermont. The more widely this film is distributed, the more
chance there is of helping these children who all too often are driven to extremes, including suicide. Cheers, Carolyn! You're making a difference."
From Diane Elze, Ph.D., an Associate Professor in the School of Social Work, University at Buffalo. Diane is also founder of OUTRIGHT in Portland, Maine and former board member of the Maine Lesbian/Gay Political Alliance (now, Equality Maine).
"This documentary is right now the best film on the planet that confronts us with the painful intrapersonal and interpersonal effects on all young people of the pervasive sexual prejudice that we teach them, and the resultant harassment and bullying, and it does so with power and sensitivity.
"These young women inspire us to join with them as change agents to actively engage with youth and adults to create safe and respectful environments in which everyone can thrive. The young participants are truly role models in showing us how to carry on meaningful, authentic conversations about sexual orientation and gender identity diversity. Most importantly, they show us how to take action despite our nervousness, uncertainty or fear.
"Hardy Girls Healthy Women has provided us with a brilliant film and an information-rich, user-friendly action kit that we can employ with youth in very diverse settings – schools, youth groups, faith communities, shelters, and other residential programs. Who could ask for more? We just need to take the risk to engage with young people around this material. And the young women in the film bravely and proudly show us how to do that, too!"
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