Ugly Ducklings Campaign

HGHW responds to the Maine election results and their impact on youth.

2009-11-13T11:28:00.001-05:00

As you know, November 3rd was a big day here in Maine. With a slim majority, Mainers voted to repeal the law that granted the right to same-sex couples to marry. One of our first thoughts here at Hardy Girls was how this news, and Campaign messages on both sides, have impacted Maine youth and their sense of community and safety. I think we can all agree that the security, support, and wellbeing of our youth are core concerns. For that reason, we are including a few resources to support your new, ongoing, and renewed work to protect and support all youth.

As we learned from the Ugly Ducklings National Campaign to Reduce Bullying and Harassment of LGBTQ Youth, the importance of safe, supportive communities for all youth cannot be understated. According to the 2007 GLSEN National School Climate Survey:

-86.2% of LGBT students reported being verbally harassed, 44.1% reported being physically harassed and 22.1% reported being physically assaulted at school in the past year because of their sexual orientation.

-73.6% heard derogatory remarks such as "faggot" or "dyke" frequently or often at school.

-More than half (60.8%) of students reported that they felt unsafe in school because of their sexual orientation, and more than a third (38.4%) felt unsafe because of their gender expression.

- 31.7% of LGBT students missed a class and 32.7% missed a day of school in the past month because of feeling unsafe, compared to only 5.5% and 4.5%, respectively, of a national sample of secondary school students.

The statistics are staggering but they highlight the need for all of us to continue to fight for environments where all youth can thrive: in families, schools, and communities free of bias-based harassment and violence.

Whether or not the state recognizes same-sex marriages does not diminish the impact that this election has on Maine families, and in particular, children. We encourage you to please reach out to the young people in your life and encourage conversation about how we can all work to create an ideal environment where all youth can grow up free of harassment. Now, more than ever, it's important for young people to know where they can turn to for support, information, and allies.

For all our friends and allies, we recommend the following resources for reducing bullying, harassment, and violence.

Top Ten Ways to Make Schools Safer...For All Students

Lesson Plan: Building a Bully-Free Building

Four Steps Schools Can Take to Address Anti-LGBT Bullying and Harassment

Let's not forget about the kids

2009-05-07T11:07:00.001-05:00

I'm thrilled that yesterday Maine's governor signed into law legislation legalizing gay marriage.

But, I can't help but think about this news in contrast with the two recent deaths of kids who were harassed so badly for their perceived sexual orientation that they committed suicide.

Gay and lesbian youth are 2-5 times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers.

We can't look at these two boys' deaths as separate from a society saturated with homophobia. School leaders, community members, parents, and youth allies need to take responsibility for creating environments in which all youth thrive, not just those that fit into our culture's narrow definition of 'normal'.

Curricula, films, and other tools designed to reduce bullying in schools generally do not take into account the toxic environment. Rather, resources focus on singling out bystanders, bullies, and victims singling out individual students involved without taking into account the systems in place that reinforce and reward students' bullying and harassing behavior.

Hardy Girls' Ugly Ducklings Campaign is a national campaign designed to combat bullying, harassment, and suicide of lesbian and gay students through the use of a multi-media community action kit. The kit includes a documentary film about the real effects of homophobia and hate on youth as well as a guide for creating safe, supportive environments for all youth. It also includes a special section on youth and suicide.

Check out the Campaign and preview the kit and documentary online at www.uglyducklings.org. And now, for a limited time, get a copy of the Kit and Documentary for 50% off.

Join with us. Because together we can create a better world for girls.

Media Resources for LGBTQ Youth of Color

2008-07-10T10:10:00.002-05:00

LGBTQ youth of color face specific challenges and heightened discrimination as they navigate a society that is often both homophobic and racist. A recent interview with three generations of black gay and lesbian people explores the role age plays in their sexual identities. The Challenges of Being Black and Gay Spans Generations, aired on National Public Radio and is one of the resources available from the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation's (GLAAD) People of Color (POC) Media Program. GLAAD's POC Media Program works to promote fair, accurate, and inclusive representation of LGBT people of color in the media in order to increase the visibility of these communities and serves as a community resource for LBGT people of color and their allies. The POC Media Program publishes a periodic e-newsletter and maintains web pages focusing on Communities of African Descent, the Asian Pacific Islander Community, the Latina/o Community, the Muslim/Arab American Community, and the Native American Community. These pages contain links to community-specific media kits, articles, and a variety of other resources.

Listen to The Challenges of Being Black and Gay Spans Generations
Check out GLAAD's People of Color Media Program

The Upshot: Love Won

2008-07-01T11:18:00.004-05:00

Check out this piece, by Anna Quindlen, about love, gay marriage, and social norms.

The Same People - Scream, shout, jump up and down. No matter. The gay-marriage issue is over and done with. The upshot: love won.

"...One of the most transformative social movements over our lifetime has been the battle for gay rights, and the key to its great success has been the grass-roots phenomenon of exploding stereotypes by simply saying, 'Yes, I am.' Each time the woman at the next desk or the guy down the street lets it be known that he or she is gay, it takes another brick out of the wall of division. Or, as Ellen DeGeneres told John McCain on her show recently, 'We are all the same people, all of us.' That's what the California Supreme Court said when it ruled that gay couples should have the right to marry as a matter of basic equality..." Read the entire story.

Originally published in Newsweek on June 9, 2008.

70% of LGBQ Students Sexually Harassed

2008-05-29T08:40:00.003-05:00

According to a new study authored by James Gruber, University of Michigan in Dearborn, and Susan Fineran, University of Southern Maine, sexual harassment is often dealt with by school administrators as just another form of bullying; however, the study found that sexual harassment has a greater negative impact on its victims than bullying. “Comparing the Impact of Bullying and Sexual Harassment Victimization on the Mental and Physical Health of Adolescents,” which will be published in the July 2008 issue of Sex Roles, found that a staggering 70% of LGBQ students had been sexually harassed in school. This is twice the percentage (34%) of heterosexual students who reported harassment. The study also found that LGBQ and heterosexual female victims of sexual harassment suffered greater effects on their mental and physical health and more symptoms of trauma than heterosexual male victims.

To read more, check out the New York Times report or read the full study.

New Study on Inclusion of LGBT Parents

2008-04-24T10:00:00.007-05:00

In February, GLSEN published the first comprehensive report on the school experiences of LGBT-headed families. Released in partnership with the Family Equality Council and COLAGE, Involved, Invisible, Ignored: The Experiences of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Parents and Their Children in Our Nation's K-12 Schools, found that LGBT parents are more likely to be involved in their children's education than the general parent population, but many LGBT parents and their children also report harassment because of their family structure. Current estimates indicate there are more than seven million LGBT parents with school-age children in the United States. More than half (53%) of parents described various forms of exclusion from their school communities, and 42% of students said they had been verbally harassed at school in the past year because their parents were LGBT. "This report casts doubt on schools' inclusion of different kinds of families in our education system," said GLSEN Executive Director, Kevin Jennings. "LGBT parents are actively engaged in their children's education yet are often not accepted by school communities. Further, their children are often harassed in school simply because of the makeup of their families."

Visit the GLSEN website to read more highlights and access the full report.

Don’t Miss These Important Events

2008-03-26T13:17:00.004-05:00

Suicidal Behavior and Suicide Prevention Among LGBT Youth
April 4, 2008 – Atlantic Oakes, Bar Harbor, Maine

Led by Mea Tavares, Maine Youth Action Network, and Effie Malley, Suicide Prevention Resource Center.

This interactive workshop will provide lots of examples and will review terminology, as well as current data and research, about suicidal behavior among LGBT youth and young adults. There will be discussion about LGBT youth culture and development and an examination of risk and protective factors. Finally there will be a discussion of the implications for suicide prevention. Participants will assess their school or agency for LGBT cultural competence and design program adaptations to address the needs of LGBT youth.

For more information contact Joanne DeCampos at jdecampos@mcd.org or 622-7566 ext. 202

Maine LGBTI Health Summit: Challenges, Opportunities, Change
May 29, 2008 – Augusta Civic Center, Augusta, Maine

In Healthy Maine 2010: Opportunities for All sexual orientation and sexual minority status are factors that can lead to health disparities. These health disparities are intensified by a lack of population based data on the LGBTI community resulting in a scarcity of information on the health LGBTI Mainers.

That’s why the Maine Center for Disease Control and Prevention (MECDC) will be hosting its first LGBTI Health Disparities Summit, Maine LGBTI Health Summit — Challenges, Opportunities, Change on Thursday May 29, 2008 at the Augusta Civic Center, Augusta, Maine. Through a combination of educational sessions and workshops the 2008 Summit will focus on increasing awareness of health disparities, advocacy for consumers, and the collection of health related data in LGBTI communities. The keynote will be presented by Dr. Ilan H. Meyer. Registration is $25.

To Register: visit www.neias.org/mecdc/lgbti08.html or call 207-626-3615

Gay Youth News Blog

2008-03-24T08:56:00.002-05:00

Looking for a source of up-to-date news relevant to the lives of LGBT youth? We at the Ugly Ducklings Campaign have discovered the informative Gay Youth News Blog: News for LGBT Kids and Their Allies. This very active blog highlights the latest news and events from around the world and also includes occasional editorial entries. Here you will read about schools, parents, organizations, communities, celebrities, politicians, and youth whose actions and policies are having a significant impact, be it positive or negative, on the lives of LGBT youth. So stay informed and keep up the good work!

Check out the Gay Youth News Blog

Lawrence and His Caterpillar

2008-02-26T11:11:00.007-05:00

Two weeks ago, on February 12, 15 year-old Lawrence King was shot to death in his school’s computer lab by a 14 year-old classmate.

A picture that accompanied the New York Times article showed Lawrence in December 2006 tenderly cradling a caterpillar in his hand. I looked at Lawrence gently sheltering his little green friend and thought, “Where was the culture of acceptance and reverence-for-life that should have protected Lawrence?” Where was the common voice to say, violence is not acceptable? Where was the common hand to take the gun away from 14 year-old Brandon McInerney with the words: We do not resolve our fear or anger by shooting people?

Tragically, there was no such voice and there was no such hand. We live in a culture that glorifies violence and spreads blatant and covert messages of homophobia, transphobia, racism, sexism, along with intolerance against a myriad of other groups based on religion, class, and cultural heritage. Violent media and sentiments of targeted hate do not cause physical acts of violence in a simple, connect-the-dots manner. However, we must seriously examine what overall effects a culture of intolerance and glorified violence has on all of us, especially our children.

Since last fall, Lawrence had been living at Casa Pacifica, a center for abused and neglected foster care children, and I can only image what difficulties and trauma Lawrence had already faced in the course of his young life. Yet, despite the hardships, Lawrence graced his community with a warmth and effervescence that endeared him to classmates and administrators alike. “He had a character that was bubbly,” said Marissa Moreno, a fellow 8^th grader. “We would just laugh together. He would smile, then I would smile and then we couldn’t stop.”

Not only did Lawrence have the courage to share love with others in a violent culture, he had the courage to openly love himself. According to classmates, Lawrence publicly stated that he was gay and had since been enduring harassment from a group of male schoolmates. “They teased him because he was different,” said Moreno, “but he wasn’t afraid to show himself.” Lawrence continued to wear make-up and jewelry to school and didn’t hesitate to tell people where he bought his favorite high-heeled boots, which he wore to school almost every day.

I hear many adults say that the hostile sentiments of their communities prevent them from speaking out against anti-LGBT language and sentiments. But this excuse is just not good enough. There are amazing children like Lawrence in every community who are brave enough to wear their favorite boots in the face of violent harassment. But this violence must not be acceptable and these children must have our protection and support. As long as this blog is filled with stories of children who have died because they live in a hostile world, our conviction to forge a safe world for these children must not fail.

Find out how the Ugly Ducklings Campaign is taking a stand against the harassment of LGBTQ youth, and learn how you can support the Campaign.

Read the complete New York Times article, "Boy's Killing, Labeled a Hate Crime, Stuns a Town."

Gay & Lesbian are Not Lewd or Rude

2008-01-04T13:38:00.000-05:00

Symbols of smut?
On December 10th 2007, Bethany Laccone, a senior at a Virginia high school, was threatened with suspension if she did not cover up a bright red t-shirt that expressed her pride in being a lesbian. Laccone was told by staff at I.C. Norcom High School in Portsmouth, VA, that her shirt violated a section of the school’s dress code prohibiting “bawdy, salacious or sexually suggestive messages.”

And what was the “bawdy,” “suggestive” image on Laccone’s shirt? Two interlocking symbols representing the female gender. There were no eroticized body parts, nor any explicit language. According to Norcom staff, the mere representation of two females joined in a lesbian relationship was, in and of itself, sexually explicit.

Recognizing the pattern
Sadly, Ms. Laccone’s story is not unique. In December, the Ugly Ducklings Campaign was locked out of our account for a week because another member of the blogging community flagged this blog as being possible spam. I can only assume this happened due to our “excessive” use of the words lesbian and gay, as we received a similar spam warning when drafting our e-news. The message advised us that our newsletter, which often contains LGBTQ and its root words, might be blocked from delivery in some in-boxes due to: Use of words common to pornography (porn, xxx, voyeur, etc.)

Enough is enough!
GAY does not equal porn and LESBIAN is not sexually explicit. At the root of both Ms. Laccone’s harassment and our own spam problems is the same bigoted notion that homosexuality is inherently deviant and raunchy. It seems farcical to imagine a young woman getting in trouble for wearing a “Boy Crazy” shirt to school, doesn’t it? Join the Ugly Ducklings Campaign in deconstructing heterosexual privilege in our schools and communities, and vocally celebrate LGBT people for their whole, nuanced selves!

This Commission Will Make a Difference

2007-11-29T12:40:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I attended my first meeting of the Maine Children's Cabinet LGBTQ Youth Commission. What an inspiring day!

The Maine Children's Cabinet believes that all youth and young adults should be able to participate in their schools and communities without concern for discriminatory actions, harassment, and/or violence, because of their sexual orientation or gender identity.

The Cabinet believes that all Maine citizens should appreciate individual differences and ensure that Maine communities are free from any discrimination, harassment and violence, based on sexual orientation or gender identity.

The LGBTQ Youth Commission is to recommend practical, actionable strategies to reduce and eliminate anti-LGBTQ discrimination, harassment and violence that can be implemented by individuals and systems in Maine that interact with children, youth, and young adults. Witnessing this group of passionate, highly accomplished LGBT leaders and allies sharing deep insights and important research, I have no doubt that the Commission will succeed in this vital charge!

Please read more about the history and mission of the Maine Children’s Cabinet and its partner organizations.

Do you have any Best Practices for forging safe space for LGBTQ youth? Share them with us by posting a response to this blog!

Pediatricians Get New Guidelines for Spotting Suicide Signs In Gay Teens

2007-11-15T15:21:00.000-05:00

This from a 365gay.com article: "The American Academy of Pediatrics has issued new guidelines for helping doctors identify potential signs of suicide among teenagers.

Suicide is the third-leading cause of death for adolescents 15 to 19 years olds the Academy says in its updated guidelines, published in the journal Pediatrics."

Read the full article here

Happy Coming Out Day!

2007-10-11T16:55:00.000-05:00

Today is October 11th: National Coming Out Day!
Ugly Ducklings lovingly encourages everyone to

Come out...
Support someone who is...
Live your life in celebration of your whole person!!!

Click here to learn more about National Coming Out Day from the Human Rights Campaign.

October is LGBT History Month

2007-10-11T15:50:00.000-05:00

They were gay?!
Yes, we know Ellen DeGeneres is gay, but did you know Bessie Smith was gay? Or, the father of computer science, Alan Turing? How about Bayard Rustin, close colleague of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and chief organizer of the 1963 civil rights march on Washington?

I invite you to join Equality Forum in celebrating LGBT History Month by sharing the legacy of 31 LGBT leaders with the young people in your life. Each day in October, glbthistorymonth.com will highlight the life and work of a different LGBT icon. The nominees comprise individuals, living or dead, who have distinguished themselves within their fields of endeavor, as national heroes, or in the LGBT civil rights movement. Learn about today’s featured icon below, and then click here to meet this year’s 30 other featured leaders.

Learn, Love & Live your Legacy
It is so important for young people to celebrate who they are and the communities they are a part of. Our LGBT youth come from a rich and diverse legacy of revolutionary politicians, scientists, writers, activists, and artists. Celebrate the contributions of today and yesterday, while fostering the greatness of tomorrow, by sharing the stories of LGBT leaders with the young people in your life.

Wishing you an inspiring and life-affirming LGBT History Month from all of us at Ugly Ducklings!

Raise Your Allied Voice

2007-09-28T14:12:00.000-05:00

Whose Voice?
I have spent a lot of time thinking about my role as a straight woman who will be posting regularly on the Ugly Ducklings blog, a blog dedicated to ending the bullying and harassment of LGBTQ youth. For several weeks, I felt like an impostor. “Who am I to be writing about LGBTQ issues?” I thought.

Whose Silence?
My perspective fundamentally changed, however, when I came across a prayer last week which asks forgiveness for all the times, “We knew that others were being mistreated and yet we did nothing.” My thoughts leaped immediately to a conversation I had with a friend in 10th grade chorus. We were sitting next to each other trying to guess who the other person had a crush on, and I remember clearly the moment her answers eliminated all the boys in the room. I also remember the moment I chose not to acknowledge that she was attracted to a girl. Instead of asking excitedly, “Do you like Kelly?” I feigned confusion. I pretended that I could not figure out who she was talking about. Now with great sorrow I ask myself, what was I so afraid of? Several of the women I grew up loving and being nurtured by were lesbians, and yet when presented with the opportunity to be an active ally to a peer of my own, I did not have the courage to break out of the dominant mold of heteronormativity.

Whose Problem?
I often point out that men’s violence against women is almost always referred to as a women’s problem, but it is, in fact, a men’s problem. It is the batterers who have the problem. They are the ones whose actions are harming others. In the same way, homophobic bullying and harassment is not a homosexual problem. It is a heterosexual problem. By choosing to be silent in high school I supported homophobia, just as a man supports domestic violence when he witnesses abuse and turns his head away. It is the responsibility of every individual, not only to eliminate her own homophobic thoughts and behaviors, but also to actively challenge all homophobia that is witnessed.

I cannot go back and speak out, but I can refuse to go forward in silence.

Want to know more about being an Ally?
Check out the LGBTQ Center at UNC Chapel Hill’s website

Looking for support?
The Ugly Ducklings Community Action Kit contains activities, discussion questions, movie clips, and resources for creating safer, harassment-free schools and communities!

The Gay Lesbian Straight Education Network has a wealth of information, resources, and project ideas to help your school be a safe place for LGBTQ youth.

Recent Reviews

2007-06-28T12:37:00.000-05:00

On viewing the Ugly Ducklings documentary at NEWfest in NYC, Robin Lichtig said,

"Okay - this was exciting. I just got back from a New York City screening of UGLY DUCKLINGS, based on and woven around lister Carolyn Gage's play of the same name. Big AMC-Lowe's movie house on Broadway. Darned big audience for a Friday afternoon. Met the director, a producer, others involved with the film. Lively Q and A followed.

"The film (and play) concerns the dreadful, daily pressures that LGBTQ (Q for "questioning") teens and young women are subjected to. It is an important film. Info, study resources and a CD are available from www.UglyDucklings.org or info@uglyducklings.org. Check it out if you know someone in a school, church, or other organization that would be interested in helping their young people cope with discrimination, identity, homophobia, harassment. I picked up information to send to a pastor of a church in Vermont. The more widely this film is distributed, the more
chance there is of helping these children who all too often are driven to extremes, including suicide. Cheers, Carolyn! You're making a difference."

From Diane Elze, Ph.D., an Associate Professor in the School of Social Work, University at Buffalo. Diane is also founder of OUTRIGHT in Portland, Maine and former board member of the Maine Lesbian/Gay Political Alliance (now, Equality Maine).

"This documentary is right now the best film on the planet that confronts us with the painful intrapersonal and interpersonal effects on all young people of the pervasive sexual prejudice that we teach them, and the resultant harassment and bullying, and it does so with power and sensitivity.

"These young women inspire us to join with them as change agents to actively engage with youth and adults to create safe and respectful environments in which everyone can thrive. The young participants are truly role models in showing us how to carry on meaningful, authentic conversations about sexual orientation and gender identity diversity. Most importantly, they show us how to take action despite our nervousness, uncertainty or fear.

"Hardy Girls Healthy Women has provided us with a brilliant film and an information-rich, user-friendly action kit that we can employ with youth in very diverse settings – schools, youth groups, faith communities, shelters, and other residential programs. Who could ask for more? We just need to take the risk to engage with young people around this material. And the young women in the film bravely and proudly show us how to do that, too!"

Ugly Ducklings Makes Its Debut in the Big Apple!

2007-05-15T16:46:00.000-05:00

Hardy Girls' smash-hit documentary Ugly Ducklings will make it's New York debut on June 8th at NewFest - the 19th New York Lesbian, Gay Bisexual, Transgender Film Festival.

Ugly Ducklings will screen at AMC Loews 34th St Theater 10 at 5:45 on Friday June 8th. Tickets are $13 and documentary film director Fawn Yacker will attend the event to introduce the film and answer questions about the project!

For more info on the festival, visit www.newfest.org or email Jess at info@uglyducklings.org. If you're in the area - come out and see the film that's been called "one of the best docs on queer youth" by the Frameline 30 festival programmer!

Colby College Student Reviews Ugly Ducklings

2007-04-19T05:46:00.000-05:00

Last week, Colby students hosted a screening of Ugly Ducklings during Pride Week. Below is a fabulous review from one of the students!

The Ugly Ducklings Documentary
Sarah Nagel
Issue date: 4/13/07 Section: Arts & Entertainment

On the evening of April 5, a small group of students gathered at a Bridge sponsored event to watch The Ugly Ducklings Documentary and to discuss the harassment of today's gay and lesbian youth. The documentary was produced in a collaborative effort by Hardy Girls, Healthy Women and Greater Waterville's Communities for Children / Youth Coalition and was filmed right here at Colby College.

In an effort to reduce harassment within schools, the film is being distributed to Maine schools along with a community action kit. While the film has very local roots, it attracted attention worldwide through its participation in LGBTQ film festivals in San Francisco, Madrid and Italy. The documentary features interviews with fourteen female actors who participated in a play about bullying and an attempted youth suicide. The actresses discuss their own struggles to overcome harassment and to come to terms with their sexual preferences. The Ugly Duckling puts a very human face on an issue that is all too often ignored and oversimplified.

The film's opening forefronts the devastating consequences of biased based harassment by displaying a short clip of a young girl pulling a noose over her head. The film sites a statistic confirmed by twenty national studies: gay and lesbian youth are 2-5 times more likely to attempt suicide. Another depressing statistic sited by the film is that the typical high school student hears anti-gay slurs 25.5 times a day. Ugly Ducklings explores this world of harassment by switching between personal anecdotes and theatrical drama. While the film clips of the play help dramatize patterns of harassment, the most compelling aspect of the documentary is the personal testimony of the actresses themselves.

Because the actresses come from diverse backgrounds and age groups, their stories are highly accessible. Their experiences speak to the devastating effects of harassment and bullying in schools. While racial minorities may experience discrimination in schools, they can depend on the support of their families and churches. Gay and lesbian youth, however, feel completely alone; their parents are often more homophobic than their classmates. The actresses explain that one of the most troubling aspects of their schooling is their teachers' indifference to name-calling and bullying. Because students look up to their teachers as role models, it is devastating to watch teachers ignore bullying and implicitly support discrimination.

Along with their experiences with harassment within the school system, the women discuss their sexuality and the ways it influences their relationships and beliefs. In a compelling testimony, an actress describes her suicidal feelings as a preteen. Intense feelings of depression are not an uncommon experience among LGBTQ youth. Most felt they would lose everything when they came out: their best friend, their family and their dreams. The good news is that they didn't. Although most parents were reluctant to believe that their children's homosexuality was anything more than a phase, they continued to love and support their child. As one mother explained, "When you have a homosexual child, you have to deconstruct everything you think you know. It does not necessarily mean your child will have a hard life. It does not necessarily mean you won't have grandchildren."

Another prominent issue discussed in Ugly Ducklings is religious beliefs and homophobia within the church. Statements like, "I don't tell my mom I'm bisexual because she doesn't want me to go to hell" emphasize the ways religious communities contribute to homophobia and serve to distance family members. When it comes to increasing tolerance and changing the way people think about homosexuality, addressing religious issues is of the utmost importance. The film touches on this issue by including clips of a woman discussing her sorrow in being alienated from the church. She clings to her beliefs saying, "No one knows what comes between me and my God but me." By using a multiplicity of voices and faces to address problems of harassment, Ugly Duckling promises to become a useful educational tool.

Gay Students are 3-4 Times More Likely to be Bullied

2007-04-02T19:11:00.000-05:00

A new study by the Children's Hospital Boston Division of Adolescent Medicine shows that gay youth are 3-4 times more likely to experience bullying and harassment than their heterosexual peers.

"It's clear that sexual minority youth are a population vulnerable to bullying," says researcher Elise Berlan, MD, in the Children's Hospital Boston Division of Adolescent Medicine. "This needs to be addressed, particularly in schools."

What's not mentioned in the article is that this harassment and bullying of LGBTQ youth will usually lead to self-harming behavior. Kids who are bullied at school because of their actual or perceived sexual orientation are more likely to engage in drug and alcohol abuse, be depressed, contemplate and attempt suicide.

It's a real crisis when even our schools aren't safe places for all youth - that's why we've created the Ugly Ducklings Campaign. Find out more about the project on the Ugly Ducklings website. The Ugly Ducklings Community Action Kit contains activities, discussion questions, movie clips, and resources for creating safer, harassment-free schools and communities - places where all kids can grow up healthy and happy.

What's so wrong with that?

A Poem for Rachel Crites

2007-02-12T06:36:00.000-05:00

And she said,
“Wherever I end up laying . . .
I want to stay with my true love . . .
With my true love . . .
Next to her.”

She said:

“This is my choice.”
She said.
“This is my choice.”
“I’m sorry.”

And I’m sorry. And I’m sorry. And I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for every sorry time you had to hear “gay” like it was something bad.
I’m sorry for every sorry time they called you dyke and didn’t mean that you were fierce, and strong, and true to loving women.
I’m sorry for the sorry Catholic church that called you a sinner.
I’m sorry for all the sorry teachers who never taught you how natural, how normal it is for women to love women and for girls to love girls, and that many of the most brilliant, most daring, most courageous women in history were lesbians.

I’m sorry.

And if it was up to me,
I would bury you,
Bury you with your true love,
And her with you.

And I’m sorry for the suffocation
That had nothing to do with CO2.
And I’m sorry for the long, slow freezing
That had nothing to do with temperature.
And I’m sorry they took so long,
Took too long,
To locate you.

Because they’ll never find you now.

And if it was up to me,
I would bury you,
Bury you with your true love,
And her with you.

And on the stone, I’d carve
Your last words
In deep granite gashes,
Too deep to wear away,

Those sorry words
You left
To a sorry world
Rachel, I would carve,

“I’m sorry.”

Copyright 2007 Carolyn Gage, www.carolyngage.com

Shakespeare Got it Right

2007-02-08T12:56:00.000-05:00

Shakespeare knew how to end a tragedy. He knew you don’t just send the audience home without some closure, without some lesson learned, without some sense that “this must never happen again.”

At the end of his play Romeo and Juliet, where the two lovers commit double suicide as a result of their families’ disapproval, Shakespeare brings on the Prince of Verona as well as Juliet’s parents and Romeo’s father. In front of the citizens of Verona, in the early morning light, the Prince publicly unravels the details of the entire tragedy. He does not blame the friar who hatched the dangerous plot, the druggist who sold the poison, or the messenger who came too late. Notably, he does not blame the lovers.

No, Shakespeare’s figure of civic and moral authority lays the blame squarely on the shoulders of the feuding families: “Capulet, Montague,/ See what a scourge is laid upon your hate,/ That heaven finds means to kill your joys with love!”

And then, we have the catharsis: Juliet’s father offers his hand to Romeo’s father. Romeo’s father declares that he will erect a statue of Juliet in pure gold. Juliet’s father is quick to add that Romeo’s body will be buried with that of Juliet. And the Prince sums up poetically: “ A glooming peace this morning with it brings.”

There is no “glooming peace” in Washington today. The two teenaged lovers who took their lives will have no statues erected in their honor. And even though one of them wrote a last request in her diary to be buried next to her “true love,” it is doubtful whether that request will be honored.

There is no Prince of Georgetown who will step forward and demand a full and public accounting from all parties of what they know. In fact, the authorities have declared their intention to suppress the details of the two deaths, consistent with their “policy” surrounding suicides.

And the families? They are requesting respect for their privacy. There are no gestures of reconciliation. The blame is being laid on the victims: One of the girls was, according to her father, depressed.

I daresay that Romeo and Juliet were depressed also. Romeo was facing exile and Juliet was looking at an arranged marriage with its attendant marital rape. But the wise Prince of Verona knew that his people deserved better than a facile blaming of the children. He knew the root of the tragedy lay in the families’ refusal to accept the love between these two young people, their determination to place obstacles in their path and to accuse them of betraying their families’ values, of dishonoring the family, with their passionate liaison. He knew that the only possible closure to the story would be the healing of this bigotry.

In the tragedy this week, there were two warring factions. One family was Catholic and the other Jewish. Traditionally Catholicism and Judaism are not religions that accept intermarriage between members. More than that, these are religions that have traditionally rejected homosexuality as morally wrong – a perversion or a sin.

No doubt the girls were depressed. They may have even felt as if they were carrying the weight of the world, because they were. These children were shouldering the disapproval and censure of two major world religions, backed by centuries of history and culture. These children were defying the moral precepts of millennia. Possibly, they were also dealing with the disapproval of their families. These burdens would be crushing to an adult with a fully-developed support system. For an eighteen-year-old and a sixteen-year-old, it was more than they could bear.

As a witness to the playing out of this tragedy in the media, I am restless. I lack the kind of closure that Shakespeare offered to the citizens of his imagined world and the audiences of his real one. I am missing the respect for my investment in the story, in the culture that produced the tragedy. I need for the families to come together with mutual acknowledgement of the prejudices that drove their daughters to desperation. I want them to clasp hands publicly, to own and repudiate the historic “feud” between their faiths as well as the traditional homophobia of both religions.

I want them to bury these girls together, as the girls had wished, and I want them to establish a living memorial to honor their courage and their pain, a memorial that will bear witness to the fact that the homophobia taught and practiced by the major religions of the world is criminal, that the victims of this homophobia die every day in every country, and that young people are among those who suffer the most. I want a pledge from the media and from the police that there will never again be a conspiracy of silence, of suppressing suicide notes and details of deaths, of disappearing or downplaying the evidence of sexual orientation in the name of “respect for the families.” I want every death counted, noted, commemorated, remembered annually, until we all live in a world where homophobia is no longer tolerated or protected as a religious, ethnic, cultural, or personal prerogative.

Carolyn Gage (http://www.carolyngage.com/) is a lesbian playwright and activist. She is involved in the Ugly Ducklings Campaign, a national campaign to prevent GBLT youth suicides. http://www.uglyducklings.org/

Two Maryland Teens Missing

2007-01-25T11:45:00.001-05:00

Has anyone heard about what’s going on with the two teenage girls in Maryland? They ran away on Friday after their parents tried to make them break up.

But they are in love. They left a note claiming they were going to commit suicide and they wanted to be buried next to one another. That was Friday, today is Thursday and no one has heard from them.

In the first news report, the father said, “I don’t understand any of this! I raised my daughter in the Catholic Church!”

Tuesday one of the mothers said she didn’t care what caused her child to leave, she just wanted her back. She said that everything could be worked out.

These two teenagers have been in love for at least a year. Any thoughts?